"I was lost and you saved me. I was blind and you made me see. I was broken and you healed me. Now, I’m free."
God changed the trajectory of my life with the snap of a finger, and He imbued the word "desire" with a completely new meaning in my heart. My faith blossomed alongside me as I grew older, and it dramatically altered my perspective.
I am from a Christian/Catholic family. This was also very widespread in the Philippines! My mother's family was Christian, but my father's family was Roman Catholic. So there was a brief slip in my beliefs because I was perplexed and unsure of what I should truly believe in. That might be rather perplexing for a child. This also caused me to question my own judgment, values, and morals. I was a befuddled adolescent.
Every Sunday, we went to church and were fed beliefs that didn't make sense. Not to belittle the Catholic Church, but it just didn't make sense to me. So I felt lost, and I spent most of my childhood wondering if God was more than the stone statues I saw in church and school.
When I entered high school, everything changed. I pleaded with my father to let me attend a Christian school. It was a challenge for him because it was against his values, but he complied. My parents were aware of my difficulties and how much I despised being obliged to attend a church that held no value for me. To be honest, I didn't feel any closer to God or any sense of inner serenity. To say I was disgusted would be an understatement.
School, on the other hand, was merely a stepping stone toward realizing my full potential as a strong Christian woman. I'll admit that there have been instances when I questioned my faith. There was also a moment when I attempted suicide because I felt unworthy of surviving the life that God had bestowed upon me. I was governed by the darkness at the time. I was confronted with numerous difficulties and problems that put my faith to the test.
I was diagnosed with kidney stones in 2016. And that's the difficult part; we've tried numerous process and they're still not working. Stones are growing bigger and bigger. It wasn't my proudest moment, but it happened, and I'm glad it did because I'm a lot stronger now than I was then.
NOT ALL STORMS COME TO DISRUPT YOUR LIFE. SOME STORMS ARE THERE TO CLEAR YOUR PATH.
We may sense his absence at times, but he's there, he's really there. We all go through seasons in our life, seasons of joy, and seasons of sadness and trials. Sure, those seasons suck, but those that make it out of their hardships come out stronger, and I believe they have a more firmly rooted identity. And no one can tell you who you are or what you went through because, guess what, you were the one that walked through the fire, not them. And you know it.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
"You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing. You say I am strong when I think I am weak."Now I don’t care if you think that this seems so religious to you. I care to tell you things that I believe I must tell you. He won everything in me and he’s been waiting for you too…
SOMEBODY - WANTED - BUT - SO - THEN
Since then, I've been looking forward to meeting the somebody in me, that God wants me to be. I'd always wanted a close relationship with Him, where I could experience the fulfillment that only he could bring. But things aren't as simple as they appear. Before I experienced his love and consolation, I went through a lot of agony and suffering. Everyone will despise, persecute, and avoid you. And that's part of the process. So I dive deep just to be in his presence. Then, gradually, I began to embrace the love and comfort for which I had yearned for so long.
...And the love that you gave when You took my place for all the world to see.
You gave everything, and it was all for love.
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